Eighteen

As I embrace the healing moonlight
my mind consumed on why I was being consumed and devoured my dissimilarity
only 6 years living in what I knew was hell
I knew that I could heal the world
why was the world being chained down by champagne and caviar?
why does it make you feel superior?
A class of ten
I was asked "what is your one wish?"
My answer?
" To make the world feel how I feel"
the 10 expected me to pour out sorrow and misunderstaning behavior
Far from my truth
I admired the winds swift lashes on my body
I melted to feel the sun's sensation caress my skin
Appreciated my mother's yells
Respected my father's decision of abandoning me
meditated to the song the trees whispered
laughed at the bee's sting
experienced atroprojection
visited my deceased grandmother in her dreams
" I love you so much!" I yelled as I left her dream
My grandmother being carefully lowered 6 feet
prior eighteen years of me traveling through the portal of life
I wanted to be saved!
I wanted to feel what the rest felt
"SAVE ME!"
From what?
I didnt live in the Hamptons
I was blessed with unconditional love
I didn't have a family dinner every Sunday
I knew how to talk to God
I didn't recall what my salvation was for
I lived a great life
one day walking with my mother to my school
I pretended to faint
woke up kicking and screaming
" Grandma I coming with you!, I promise I won't make the tea too hot this time! Just please come take me!"
My mum stared at me with a blank face
".. I always made her tea too hot.." she said
from then on I was casted seas away to South America
In hopes of me recieveing the blessing
I was lowered into a well by three priests
My mother calling the church continuously
"Is my baby ok? He's not crazy you know, he just needs God in his life, his plane departs tomorrow at six and I will see him at twelve."
"We know, I'll call as soon as we are done and we will take him to the airport ourselves."
well grandma I'm finally here with you
hope i didn't keep you waiting too long
I played with the winds boomerang
I joked with the sun''s heat waves
I understood why my father abandoned me
But I could'nt process why my mum cried everyday
I just want to be like the rest